I have been absent from the blog for the past two weeks for two main reasons. One, I just worked 11 days in a row (8 hr shifts at the hospital). And two, I had a job interview on Tuesday. So every moment I was not working, I was preparing for my interview. I am not the kind of person who can just walk into an interview on the fly. I need to write out and practice saying answers to various questions. And I am really glad I did because many of the questions I was asked were ones that I practiced. Now I am just waiting for an answer…
Patience is definitely something I am working on improving. I am a very future-focused person and I get really excited about my next big idea about my future, whether that’s getting married or having kids or buying a house or getting a new certification or starting a new project. When I feel this excitement build up inside me, then I want to start taking action right away – I want to get engaged or go house hunting or buy the tools for the next project. Sometimes, that is a good thing. I don’t think my mom and I would have started writing our book if I didn’t push us to jump in and do it. But sometimes I know I need to sit back and be patient. My husband has always been good at reminding me to enjoy the season of life I’m in before hurrying on to the next one.
My Bible verse today was Proverbs 3:7 “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.” As a kid, when I read the phrase “fear the Lord,” I thought it meant I was supposed to be afraid of God. It didn’t really make sense to me, because there are so many verses where God is telling His people, “do not be afraid,” but I didn’t know any better. When you look up the word “fear” in Merriam-Webster, the third definition states “profound reverence and awe, especially toward God.” What does profound reverence and awe mean? To me, it means leaving some room for wonder – realizing no matter how smart I may think I am, I don’t have all the answers, and that is okay.
Which brings me back to waiting to hear about this job. If I reflect back, I know there have been times in my life where I thought I was so wise and I had my own plan figured out, and then God came in and His plan was even better. The biggest example that comes to mind is the house we live in. I thought we had the perfect house picked out, we had put an offer in, had interviewed a home daycare nearby, and then it all fell through. The house was already sold (the seller’s realtor failed to communicate this) and the daycare lady didn’t reserve our spot and gave it to someone else. I was devastated. But, because that happened, we were able to come see this house, which we love, and we found our kids’ daycare lady, who is definitely an angel from God. So instead of relying on my own wisdom and thinking that I have this great plan for how my life and career should go, I am going to set that aside today and wonder about what God could have planned for me. Maybe it does include this job, but maybe it doesn’t. I don’t need to put any pressure on myself to figure that out though. Hard as it may be, I am going to choose to be thankful for where I am today and where God is leading my life. I challenge you to do the same.